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Friday, May 24th, 2002
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1:24 pm - No Pads, No Helmet, All Balls
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I hate when this happens
You're better off without him, don't call him...
He's breaking your heart.
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,
It's tearing you apart.
He lied to you a thousand times,
When I was there he kept you waiting.
And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.
Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me you said that I was your best friend,
A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Goldfinger - Counting The Days
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
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6:53 pm - Geek...
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Please Read This Its All TRUE
NICE GUYS FINISH LAST
It?s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it?s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT?S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen? until they get into what they?re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole? now this is where the theory begins. She doesn?t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don?t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don?t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn?t THAT na?ve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don?t say, ?Oh he?s hot? or ?I want to have his children? about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don?t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action? I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE? at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, ?Why isn?t he paying attention to me?? so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, ?I?ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass?. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him? even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a ?listener? you can?t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a ?listener? you cant do anything about it? just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants? ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn?t work like that. The girl wont ?come to her senses? and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies? instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren?t looking for nice guys? they say they are but they?re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don?t treat you with respect, that don?t listen to you, and that don?t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself? because he has listened to it all.
current mood:  irritated
current music: Lucky 7 - Geek
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 11th, 2002
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1:53 pm - Posers
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I said, "that boy's handsome"
and a little bit of me wanted to be beautiful-
Carrie said, "It's hard to look in the mirror these days
when everyone has everything you'd rather be."
There's just something about his smile He looks so nice,
I wish I had friends like that
They'd always be there for me, I wouldn't look bad
They wouldn't talk behind my back.
This is my Philosophy-
Nothing good can ever seem to last
but it's goodness that delivers us
our past nothing good can ever come of this
I'm sure but sometimes you are granted just one wish
and every now and then there'll come a time
when you are lost in your own mind
and then you'll understand just why we were put here
on this earth and why nothing good can last
nothing good can ever seem to stay
but it's great to see those great things fade away
nothing good will ever come of this
I'm sure but in the end we are all still innocent
current mood: lonely
current music: Jimmi Eat World - Sweetness
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 4th, 2002
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3:09 pm - "Shampoo in my Eye"
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this is the closest to this friend that i've been
i hope you find it on greener ground and bluer skies
i hpe you don't think less of me
if i'm cold i don't want to watch you go
i'll cry until i can't see the whites of your eyes for two more years
we'll be old enough to know better young enought to pretend
this is the last of my letters...
i hope you find my home and i hope you're the first one in it
i know it won't be the same
i'll be there if you need anything at all you wan tto be
run around the world with me
state your distance but it's not a million miles away
if this is what will really make you happy...
then i'll say that we'll be old enough to know better, young enough to pretend
this is the last of my letters
until i see you again
current mood:  drained
current music: Fenix TX - Skate Park
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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12:48 pm - YoUr MoMa
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Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, dont help them to bury the light
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home.
But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.
Hey you, standing in the road
always doing what you're told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.
current mood:  stressed
current music: Pink Floyd -- Hey You
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, January 26th, 2002
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2:58 pm
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Dang its been awhile since I wrote on this thing well heres a poem i wrote in my 6th its about a girl of course ahah i was looking back on all my old LJ and they are soo gay i was such a little pussy to let girls get to me like that ahahah now no girlfriend and i plan on keeping it like that im haven way to much fun partying and the one night stands are tight too ahahah peace....
...I've been watching this one girl, I've been looking into her world. Her name I cannot say, but She?s in most minds all day. Her beauty I cannot describe, but She?s angelic though my eyes. An angel with out her wings. She Dresses like a Star, but not like strip bar. She wears really nice clothes, but never dresses like a hoe. She stands with straight posture and Her head held high, because who She?s standing by. She stands with the popular crowd, but not because of who she is inside, but because of what she looks like on the outside, she is to caught up in trying to being known, she?s starting to realize that its making her alone. I never seen her frown and I?m to shy to even see if her eyes are brown. She seems to always have a smile on in school, but when she?s with her so called "friends" they only lead her to dead ends, I saw her once out of school, where I tried to talking to her and just made my self look like a fool. She has a voice of a goddess, but my name it well never say, because she will never know who I am, from then and too today...
current mood:  calm
current music: Twista - Get it wet
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 24th, 2001
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8:07 pm - there was a kid and he was alone...
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Yo, I ain't seeing you in a minute, but I got something to tell ya, listen.
See the thing about you, that caught my eye,
Is the same thing that makes me change, my mind.
Kinda hard to explain, but girl, I'll try.
You need to sit down, this may take a while.
You see, she sorta looks, just like you.
She even smiles, just the way you do.
So innocent, she seemed, but I was schooled
I'm reminded when I look at you, but,
You remind of a girl, that I once knew.
See her face whenever I, I look at you.
You won't believe all of the things that she put me through.
This is why I just can't get with you.
Thought that she was the one for me,
Til I found out she was on her dream,
Oh, she was sexing everyone, but me.
This is why we could never be.
You remind of a girl, that I once knew.
See her face whenever I, I look at you.
You won't believe all of the things that she put me through.
This is why I just can't get with you.
I know it's so unfair to you,
But I'd be lingering the rest to you,
Wish I knew, wish I knew how to separate the two
You remind me, whoa...
You remind of a girl, that I once knew.
See her face whenever I, I look at you.
You won't believe all of the things that she put me through.
This is why I just can't get with you.
You remind of a girl, that I once knew.
See her face whenever I, I look at you.
You won't believe all of the things that she put me through.
This is why I just can't get with you.
current mood: lonely
current music: usher-U remind me
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
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8:41 pm - PINCH IT AT THE TOP BEFORE YOU ROLL IT DOWN
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I force myself through another day
Can?t explain the way today just fell apart like everything
Right in my face
And I try to be the one
I can't accept this all because of you
I've had to walk away
From everything
I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home
Another sleepless night again
Hotel rooms my only friend
And friends like that just don't add up
To anything
And I try so hard to be everything
That I should never take away from you again
'Cause I heard ya say
I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home
I cannot forget
I live with regret
I cannot forget
I live with...
I'll live through this
I can't see through this
I can't do this anymore
I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I just wish I was back home
Home
current mood: lonely
current music: Staind-home
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 15th, 2001
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10:42 pm - Now this is my current mood song
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its not all the song but i think you'll get the point
-Siting in traffic, another day of felling nothing, tryin to find something, I guess its back to huffin, hate and model blue, oh how I die when I look at u, smiling loving life, and all I know is blue, rainy days and cold stairs, smoking love affairs, every thing is beautiful as long as I ant there, I guess I wasn't meant to crack a smile, who cares, I think ill go to sleep for a while.
-I barley livein in my skin, depression is my only friend, and I dont know where Im headed, tryin to forget where I've been, and Im so sick of lying, god please show me the simple lignin, cause I foretell, and its not well, my heads full of hell, and the worlds a jail. so they say that lifes a plane, and that all the worlds a stage, for another part I pray, the show is the same way everyday, and my heart cant ease the pain, of a brain I cant explain, am I insane??.
current mood: depressed
current music: ReHab-it dont matter
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(comment on this)
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10:39 pm - this is my love song, corny shit...
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I want to make you smile, whenever you're sad. Carry you around when your arthritics is bad, all I want to do is grow old with you. I get you medicine, when your tummy aches, build you a fire, if the furnace breaks, so it could be so nice growing old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold, need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you had to much to drink, oh I could be the man that grows old with you, I wanna grow old with you.
current mood: lonely
current music: adam sandler- i wanna grow old with you
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
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10:18 am - its sure has been awhile but too soon it is....
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It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
It's been a while
Since I could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it
all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
It's been a while
Since I could say I wasn't addicted
And
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
It's been a while
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry
And It's been a while since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been a while but I can still remember just the way you taste
But evertyhing I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry
current mood: depressed
current music: staind-its been awhille
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 1st, 2001
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10:46 am - Obliterate
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Yesterday was a million years ago
In all my past lives I played an asshole
Now I found you, it's almost too late
And this earth seems obliviating
We are trembling in our crutches
High and dead our skin is glass
I'm so empty here without you
I crack my xerox hands
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye
And the dogs slaughter each other softly
Love burns its casualties
We are damaged provider modules
Spill the seeds at our children's feet
I'm so empty here without you
I know they want me dead
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye
current mood: lonely
current music: my own thoughts
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 13th, 2001
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12:45 pm - life sucks big dick
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Well I knew something wasn?t right the other night
When she came to bed angry
We used to talk before but lately we?ve been fighting
About the stupid ass things
And I don?t know if we can come to some sort of conclusion here
There?s got to be an easy way to say goodbye without the pain and tears
That you cry
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
Every morning 6 AM she kicks her blankets off the bed
Another cup of coffee, yes
She reads a funny paper book with tea
She doesn?t feel like laughing
I never meant to cause you pain
It?s something that I can?t explain
I?d only wish you?d stop and see
That all I have is you and me
I hope you know that I tried
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
And I knew something wasn?t right the other night
When she came to bed angry
Used to talk before but lately we?ve been fighting
About the stupid ass things
And I don?t know if we can come to some sort of conclusion here
There?s got to be an easy way to say goodbye without the pain and tears
That you cry
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
current mood: lonely
current music: case - happily ever after
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 10th, 2001
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10:01 am - bobbys "G" ride
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my car is bad ass now whats you know about that, im not totaly done it looks gay now but today ill work on it and friday i will too, me jon ryan scott went up to that mount clemens cruise last night and it was pretty tight, met some girls up there they were ok i didnt realy care i was lookin like shit like i always do anyways.. bobbys at the top of his game i took awhille and it will be all gone soon if i dont keep it all up but im haveing fun now baby, illl just have to pick some bitches up in my ride i get my speakers next month because of my birthday, and im getin a whole new front-end bumper and shit itll be tight still a P.O.S. but its alll gravey i get my new JXi in november and that i wont have to cut the roof off it because it will have a drop top anyways so that helps, i hate school i need summer to come im soo board im oute later
current mood: lonely
current music: joe- dont want to be a player
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 8th, 2001
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10:14 am - this weekend
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This weekend was pretty sweet. I talk to the physic cloe or a.k.a Jon that was cool and Friday was the only day that suck but it helped me realize what I don?t need but it is want I use to want at least and now im over it and realized that I can do a lot better but you will never find a guy like me again, I can bet on it. For a long time I was really happy for once and I don?t have to worry about people playing games with me, Saturday I went to that club and hung out with jon, ryan and alittle bit of Jason because he left because he didn?t have a girl and we did me and jon met up with stephine and janelle and it made my night if you know what I mean?. Sunday after work me and jon went to carla?s house and I realized how much I missed her, I told her I wasn?t a virgin and she got pissed off but she got over it, shes coming over today humm I wonder what will happen?. She is really cool I almost forgot how much she means to me, I don?t think I will fuck it up this time, she is what I truly need in my life to make me happy.. plus she knows how to move her hips so that counts for something?. Im out E later
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 4th, 2001
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11:49 pm
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i just have to say one damn thing "MENTAL HOSPITAL" that's where im heading too, im driven myself fuckin crazy
current mood: depressed
current music: fuck music
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 3rd, 2001
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9:01 pm - i have no one to call my own....
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Well I knew something wasn?t right the other night
When she came to bed angry
We used to talk before but lately we?ve been fighting
About the stupid ass things
And I don?t know if we can come to some sort of conclusion here
There?s got to be an easy way to say goodbye without the pain and tears
That you cry
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
Every morning 6 AM she kicks her blankets off the bed
Another cup of coffee, yes
She reads a funny paper book with tea
She doesn?t feel like laughing
I never meant to cause you pain
It?s something that I can?t explain
I?d only wish you?d stop and see
That all I have is you and me
I hope you know that I tried
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
And I knew something wasn?t right the other night
When she came to bed angry
Used to talk before but lately we?ve been fighting
About the stupid ass things
And I don?t know if we can come to some sort of conclusion here
There?s got to be an easy way to say goodbye without the pain and tears
That you cry
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
I never wanted to give you away
Well I still love you but I don?t need you
current mood: lonely
current music: o-town/disagree
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
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9:16 pm - ...
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So let them say its wrong
For me to love you
They could never feel
The way that I do when we kiss
When we're close like this
They can't see inside my soul
They can't know the love we know
All they do is waste their time
They can never change my mind
It's what my heart says
That is what I listen to
It's what my heart feels
That tells me, tells me what to do
It's what my heart knows
That's the only, the only truth I know is real
All I hear is what my heart says to me
La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
What my heart says
Let them say that I'm a fool
To fall so deeply
Cause they will never ever be
Loved so completely
How can they even talk that way?
They can't see it through my eyes
They can't feel this love inside
All their words don't mean a thing
They can't change the way I feel, no, no
It's what my heart says
That is what I listen to
It's what my heart feels
That tells me, tells me what to do
It's what my heart knows
That's the only, the only truth I know is real
All I hear is what my heart says to me
And I have never felt so sure about anything
See you are the one, the one that I need
It doesn't matter what they think
Or what they say
I'm loving you anyway, oh
All I know is what I hear
It's what my heart says
That is what I listen to
It's what my heart feels
That tells me, tells me what to do
It's what my heart knows
That's the only, the only truth I know is real
All I hear is what my heart says to me
La, la, la, la, la
What my heart says
Oh, what my heart says
current mood: depressed
current music: fuck music
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 8th, 2001
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12:42 am - today
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today was a shity day you could say tonight we went out on gratoit and j and jon found some fat ass hoes, so of course jon talked to them and they invited us to a party at one of there friends house or who ever it was rigt next to chris's i wish i could of gone there instead... but no i stayed and it was really gay as fuck, i asked for a beer from one of the guys and the dicks that they were wouldnt give me one( just to let you know your A FAG) see if i ever help your ass out hoe, but any way my girfriend that never acts like we're going out any more is pissed at me for something i dont even know, i wish she would tell me how she feels so i dont feel dumb any more, i want to be with you more than anything ever i had the biggest fuckin crush for soooo long and now i get a chance but its not like that because every night and every day i wake up thinking of her dreaming of her al the time but when i say something from my heart she wont believe me she just blows me off im sorry, i need to feel loved i need to feel like some one i care about cares about me too im sorry.......
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 7th, 2001
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12:26 pm - --hummm--
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Gemini (May 22 - June 20)
THE TWINS
MUTABLE AIR SIGN
RULER: MERCURY
COLOR: SKY BLUE
METAL: QUICKSILVER
GEM: AQUAMARINE
KEY PHASE: I THINK
Geminis are impatient and impulsive and will seek expression in a variety of ways. They are naturally brilliant in literature and in some artistic field. They are the communicators of the zodiac as well as the social butterflies. Once he has achieved what he has set out to do, he will then begin to start a new search. The male Gemini is an interesting individual whose only function is to make life more interesting and beautiful for himself, even at the cost of someone close to him. He MUST make friends and be liked by everyone. If his partner in life does not share his mental interest, he will search for someone out of the marriage to mentally stimulate him, and he can have more than one mate in life. He will eventually leave if his partner becomes too overbearing. He goes between mild affection to passionate romance. As a lover he is teasing and flirtatious but seldom serious. A male Gemini is hard to keep.
isn't it weird that you can have so many friends but still lie in bed at night and always feel so alone, every night every day even when i still have you i feel so alone some times i used to love to be alone by myself all the time, but now im sick of it and i want to be with you now no more time alone no more time at home i need you every day.
current mood: lonely
current music: Blackstreet- Dont Leave
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